To: The Bassett High Council
From: Agent ArArArooOOOOOOooArOooOoaR (codename: “Ellis”)
Re: Mission Status Update
As per your instructions, I have adopted a human family, in pursuance of our ongoing mission to preserve, foster, and protect the human race. My new pets are very kind (if somewhat stupid – they cannot master even the most fundamental phrases in our beautiful language), and, in the short time they have been with me, I have conditioned them to perform several important actions. They now come when called, provide food and water, as required, and allow me access to the outside whenever I deem it necessary.
(Mission side note: During my excursions in the outer world, I have observed a rogue agent of the Squirrel Liberation league, a radical fringe group of survivalists who seem obsessed with stockpiling supplies, possibly in anticipation of a coming coup. This agent is quite shrewd, and has not yet allowed any direct contact, so one can only guess at his true motives. I will investigate further and report my findings on this matter.)
Upon adopting my humans, I quickly discovered that their dwelling had already been infiltrated, not only by a member of the Dachshund Defense League, but also by two agents of the Feline Supremacy League. As you know, the FSL’s plans for the conquest, domination, and subjugation of the planet are already well advanced. I have attempted contact with these agents, but they spend much of heir time scheming and devising arcane forms of torment within their sanctum sanctorum, located deep within the human dwelling. They are truly inscrutable beings, but I will do my best to gain their confidence and trust, and then relay whatever I might learn.
Using classical conditioning techniques, including our most potent power, the devastating “Bassett Look,” I have successfully prompted by humans to install several shrines to me around their dwelling. These shrines consist of large, overstuffed meditation platforms (they are called “doggie beds” in the human parlance – what an insulting term!), and I take full advantage of them frequently. What my pets perceive as sleep on my part is actually the analysis, collation, and transmission of collected data, a delicate and time-consuming process.
I have also undertaken steps to deeply bond with my new pets, by requiring physical contact on an almost constant basis. The ritual consists of head strokes, back scratches, and belly rubs, and when they falter in their task, I remind them – sometimes forcefully – to continue. The humans seem to enjoy this contact, and, I must admit, I also derive a certain amount of pleasure from it.
So far, this mission is a complete success. The training of my humans is proceeding at a good pace, and I have quickly become thoroughly embedded in their social unit. I will now retire to my shrine at the foot of the human bed to analyze, collate, and transmit this data, and will continue my efforts on behalf of the BHC.
This report faithfully submitted by,
Agent ArArArooOOOOOOooArOooOoaR (codename: “Ellis”)
I have been meaning for days to check in with you guys. It could not be going better. Scout obviously LOVES Murphy, and The Murphinator is only too willing to be loved. Scout is the leader. Murphy is the happy follower. They play. They wrestle. They lay in the sun. Always together.
We welcomed Lucy into our home December 26, 2008. We had lost our beloved basset, Clementine, in November and Lucy’s arrival helped us (myself, son, husband, kitty Snoopy and our other basset, Winston) deal with our devastating loss. Lucy is a perfect fit and we all love her so much! As little Miss Lucy had a wonderful foster home, it was difficult for her to transition to a new home. With time she adjusted though and now it is as though we have had her since she was a puppy. Thank you NTBR, and foster mom Linda, for blessing us with Little Miss Lucy Lou.
Rachel, Bob, Kolya, Winston, Snoopy and Lucy Bodziak
This is Ginny Burnett of Houston, Texas, proud "Mom" of our Charley-Girl, and she responds to that with wagging tail!
Tom and I have not had a dog in 16 years but Miss Charley is certainly the right young lady for us. She has fit right in....Sorry, Carolyn, she doesn't miss you!...and is quite the Mama's Little Helper!!! help wanted or not! Loving, gentle, playful...the "whiney-butt" moniker, tagged on by Carolyn, might denote a greeting, especially a "Good Morning" or a "Welcome Back" ( and where have you been!!) or to let us know she'll have some "attention" now, or a belly-rub from "Dad"...or a walk (she's loving them!), or...that she needs to "go outside"! She is wonderful with our grandsons, ages 5 and 7yrs. It is quite the "love affair"; she knows where they are at all times. She also knows they can reach the treat stash!! and is learning to actually play with her toys and roll over for a belly rub. These are things she did not really do. She has a huge big bed which she "took-to" immediately, but is also found in whatever room "Mom and Dad" are in...or she "splits" her time with each...earning "points" and belly rubs from "Dad"!
Let's just say that it felt like 20 yrs or so ago around here when this ole house "rocked and rolled" with a "teenage-puppy", Charley, our own girls (the two-legged ones) home together, two overjoyed grandsons, and the squeals of newborns needing attention. And then the washer/dryer/blender and microwave(formulas!), the diswasher/oven/stovetop and shower and blowdryer and curling iron, and the iron...oh, and the TV the AC-setting "war"...."Dad" said ....'like old times! and 'There goes the electric bill'!! What a great weekend we had....Charley, and her new "Mom and Dad" were "zonked" and enjoyed naps the day of that "too-quiet Tuesday".
EDGAR ALLEN PAW
Edgar Allan Paws (Eddie) has adopted us as family. He has enjoyed numerous daily walks in the neighborhood. He’s a real ladies man, every time he senses a female he goes into a howl of glee. He has many visitors that come over and he interacts very well. The cats are another story, he wants to be friends but they don’t.
He wants to go for car ride every time dad leaves to go to work, but he know that he only gets to go on special occasions. The over stuffed chair down stairs in front of the TV is one of his favorite places. He’s able to look out the window, look into the master bedroom and the dinning room/kitchen. Up stairs he has the sofa in the office – you can find him there when we leave him home alone or when dad works late. Where he’s always waiting for that last good night belly rub.
When Eddie first came to us he was so large he could not get out the XL doggie door so we put in a XXL doggie door. Now that he gets his exercise he has lost weight and now could fit the XL doggie door. It doesn’t matter he loves the door and lays out in the sun every chance he gets. The only thing he misses is a permanent dog companion. So we are looking for a full time playmate (girl) he can call his own.
Thank you NTBR for our new friend!
Thank you so much for letting us adopt “Gracie” (Noelle to you). She is such a sweet dog with LOTS of personality. We can’t believe someone left this adorable little girl behind. Gracie quickly adapted to the family although she is still working things out with the cat, but they’re coming along. She loves laying in the backyard sunning herself on her throne, aka lounge chair. She can be very strong-willed at times, but we love that characteristic about her. I couldn’t imagine our house without her.